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About Deviant HaileyFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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Have you ever felt yourself pushing a friend away that doesn't deserve it? But now they know literally EVERYTHING about you and it makes you uncomfortable?

Well, a friend of mine has helped me through some extremely rough times but, I thought now that this person knew everything they would be weirded out/ i thought they wouldn't want to be friends anymore. I have also been told that I would see they will get tired of me and they will be annoyed with me and the problems that come with being my friend 😔 and I fear that already but, having someone else tell me that confirmed my fear! So I kind of pushed them away tying to avoid them But, they were to important to lose and I felt worse doing that so today I asked the person that know everything if we were still friends but, I couldn't elaborate or tell them what my family told me! I could say they confirmed doubts! I couldn't explain why I asked I just asked if we were friends and I started crying trying not to and my friends face was broken in the fact I even asked that! He said he doesn't know why I would even think we weren't he said that he now needs me to elaborate on this next time I see him bc of course we are! Like his face I could see was saddened but, I wasn't going to ask but, I couldn't stand pushing them away! I also couldn't help but, think about that fear when it was confirmed by my family 😭 I need to elaborate this of course and I told him I would and I planned to before he asked but, I'm so sad that I doubted our friendship and listened to my family and my thoughts. The look on my friends face once I asked is what makes me so sad bc he was honestly so concerned! I saw fear in my friends eyes! I saw my friends face go from smiley to so serious. He told me that of course and he doesn't know why I would think we weren't and I feel so bad but, ran out of time to elaborate 😭😭😭 this is depressing

deviantID

alittlebitoffaith
Hailey
United States
music: i like all kinds of music except for screamo l, I love country music no matter who it is.

movies: i like scary movies, i love love movies i feel it gives me hope for love altho i don't think i'll ever find the right guy. i like fast and the furious movies all of em except tokyo drift, i DON"T like alien movies i don't believe aliens exist I like comedy I love laughing I like action movies

Talent: I sing, I write peoms, I draw, I used to write songs I paint and I cook

sports: i love to play all sports basketball, soccer, football, baseball, I love em all
but i only like golf when i playing golf to watch golf on t.v is like so boring

things i hate: i hate when people say they know who I am. cause they don't. i hate when my family tries to tell me how i feel, I hate going to late movies at like 11 o'clock at night not me. I hate stuck up prissy goody goody toe shoed girls that think they're better than everyone,
I hate people who think there better than every one, i hate people that look downn on other people, I hate people that judged others before they even try to get to know them, I hate arguing,I hate players, I hate drunkards and druggys I've grown up with that all my life, I hate the green bay packers, I hate jerks, i most time hate myself... I hate immaturity, the immaturity that u kno u have to be responsible but u choose not to, I hate liars. Etc

things I like: i like hanging out with my friends. I like having fun, I like going places, I like sleep, I like europe all tho I've never been there I want to go there. I like amusement parks, I like waterparks ( i think that concidered an amusement park tho) i like to relax, I like my family ( well, the family that likes me )
I like to sing, I like to dance, I like deviantart, I like art, I like unique things, I like dr. pepper, I like to cook, I like to draw, I like to write, I like things that remind me of winter, I like fruit, I like people that are are fun tone around, I like being home alone while I clean, I like watching football I like reading

my past: to save yal from asking me when you read some of my peoms I used to cut myself, , i hated myself, I alwasy thought bout death, i was and still am broken and don't know if anyone can fix me, I'm scared, I worry, I cry myself to sleep, but it's gotten a lot better I still have days that I wish everyone would leave me alone I still go thru depressed states but I'm much happier

my present: my dad well he used to be mean sometimes he still can be but he's gotten better he still looks at me with disquist but things are better. My brother is a jerk tho...... I almost lost my mother 3 years ago. I'm preparing myself to move out I had a boy friend notice I said had don't ask what happened unless u prepared for a long story. I try to be a perfect daughter, i wonder what it would be like if my life was different. i like walking in the rain, i'm still broken, i wish someone would try to help fix me. i think about my future wondering how it's going to plan out. etc

i look in the mirror and die a bit inside cause I compare myself to models skinny toothpick girls that have it all, the guys, the looks, the voice, the everything and I'm stuck at home wishing to be prettier it's gotten to the point were I don't leave any skin visible Cept my face and even then I load it down with make up... I covered my windows and took my mirrors down for the longest time but I'm trying to get better by take sheets off my windows next step is to put the mirrorsback up....

I believe: i believe there's love for everyone, except me, I believe in my friends, i believe in love stories, i believe, dreams come true, i believe in you. I believe that we have hope to live foreve as perfect humans on a paradise earth I believe in god I believe in love


I want: I want to be a cook or pharmacy technician I haven't really decided, I want to go to paris, and germany, i want to laugh more and not be faking, I want to be loved, I want to be in love , i want to get that perfect guy, I want to get married I want to be pretty, I want to be skinnier, I want to be trusted more, I want to do alot of things......

My fellow deviants I want to thank you for your faces your watches your comments and being there ever sine I got this account and became a member thank you for all your support it means so much to me
  • Listening to: Burst tee shirt
  • Reading: Nothing
  • Watching: The clock
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Water
Okay again not a good deviant it's been forever since I've been on here but, these past few months have been none the less depressing and frustrating. I had a little breakdown after bottling everything up for so long let's say that EVERYTHING TINY THJNG CANE OUT!!

But, after 4 years of being depressed but, past six months turning to worst suicidal thought came and got so intense that i wanted to do it I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with MDD ( major depressive disorder ) isn't that lovely! The medicine helped but k was forced to stop taking it for awhile until I was on the verge of freaking out but, it'll hopefully get better! This summer wasn't As lovely as I expected it to be. 😢 I thought it would've been great but it was spent in arguments depression and doctors visits which sucks I didn't even get to enjoy summer and now it's almost over. Debating on going back to school for medical transcriptionist or something totally opposite graphic design haha but either will keep me busy in winter so that I don't get crippled emotionally again

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:iconjieikobu:
Jieikobu Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2015
Hey, hope you're doing alright and that your birthday has been awesome. :)
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:iconalittlebitoffaith:
alittlebitoffaith Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2015
Heh thanks I'm sorry it's taken this long to get back to you! I took a break from everything been an interesting past few months but, it'll get better
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:iconjieikobu:
Jieikobu Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2015
You're welcome, and no worries. I totally understand the need to get away for a while. Sending good vibes and well wishes your way. :)
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:iconjieikobu:
Jieikobu Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2014
Hey, I hope you are doing well. Happy birthday. Take care.
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:iconalittlebitoffaith:
alittlebitoffaith Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2014
Awh thanks just been amazingly busy and I haven't had time to get on DAvtil now thanks I hope your doing well too
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:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013  Student Artist
Oh hey there, I just wanted to thank you for the fave~~ ^.^

Also...a bit of a shameless plug, but if you'd like to follow my work, other than the work that gets put up on dA then you should head over to my Facebook page and hit "Like". It would totally make my day!

Link: www.facebook.com/DylanSetoArti…
Also for my music: soundcloud.com/dylanseto

Either way, I really appreciate the support you've given me thus far! :)
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:iconalittlebitoffaith:
alittlebitoffaith Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2013
Ur welcome and I would but I don't have Facebook sorry! :/
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:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Student Artist
Don't worry about it!
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:iconalittlebitoffaith:
alittlebitoffaith Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014
Thanks will try not too 
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:iconmarkdotea:
Markdotea Featured By Owner May 24, 2013  Student Digital Artist
long time no see! Thanks for the fav!^^/
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